Member-only story
Identifying A Gaslighter
Anyone can fall prey to this form of psychological manipulation.
Gaslighting is the act of manipulation using psychological efforts to make a person question their own sanity and reality. The behavior ranges from toxic communication to severe emotional abuse, depending on how frequent it is. It is a tactic used by abusers, control freaks, AND ordinary people.
Understandably, most don’t recognize it when it’s happening to them. That’s how it’s designed, and why it works. It can be especially difficult to detect when we’re hopeful about a particular person, connection, or relationship (which we usually are). Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that ANYONE can fall prey to. Do not make the mistake of thinking it could never happen to you.
Common examples of gaslighting:
“I never said that, you’re remembering wrong”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“That’s not what I meant, you’re misunderstanding”
“You’re making up stories/ you’re lying/ that’s a false accusation”
“You’re twisting the story/my words ”
“I don’t remember it that way”
“You’re just trying to confuse me”
“What are you talking about?”
“If I said that, I didn’t mean it that way.”
“You said (x), remember? Why would you go back on that?”
“You are attacking me”
“You’re letting your friends turn you against me”
“You’re betraying me”
“You’re being unfair/unreasonable”
“You’re embarrassing me”
“You’re overreacting/emotional/crazy”
“If you tell anyone about this, they are going to think you’re crazy
“That never happened; you must be imagining it.”
“Everyone agrees with me — you’re wrong”
“This is your fault”
“I was obviously just joking”
“This is not a big deal, don’t be so sensitive “
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself”