TW: Rape, sexual violence, abuse, sexism

I know the right thing to do is to pursue justice. But all my life, what I’ve known to be true is that moving on requires a lot of space, time and personal growth. Pursuing justice will stunt this. Pursuing justice will take up all the space in my mind. That’s space I could be using to grow. The process will delay my healing by re-traumatizing me with each thought. The process itself is a reminder of what he did to me. …

Ok, so am I a part of a couple now? Can this happen for me? Is this allowed?

My history of dating and relationships has been tumultuous, to say the least. After so many abusive experiences, I had gotten into the habit of only being attracted to the wrong type of person. I couldn’t help the fact that I was drawn to the type of man that I was most familiar with. I knew this attraction was because of my deep-seated emotional masochism which was a product of never experiencing a healthy relationship. To me, it appeared as if the…

Gaslighting is the act of manipulation using psychological efforts to make a person question their own sanity and reality. The behavior ranges from toxic communication to severe emotional abuse, depending on how frequent it is. It is a tactic used by abusers, control freaks AND ordinary people. Understandably, most don’t recognize it when it’s happening to them. That’s how it’s designed, and why it works. It can be especially difficult to detect when we’re hopeful about a particular person, connection, or relationship (which we usually are). Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that ANYONE can fall prey to. …

The female form has been exploited, sexualized, criticized and idealized for centuries. I don’t generally like to discuss mine, or anyone else’s, because I believe we are ALL much more than just our figures. Too much of my life I’ve spent obsessing over my image. It’s been exhausting. I wish I didn’t care about the way that I look, but I do. So maybe this means I will always find a reason to cringe at the sight of myself in the mirror. …

I wish women would stick together all the time.
I wish it were that simple.
It’s not.
They don’t.
Often times they have valid reasons not to.
It doesn’t mean it won’t sting me.
I understand.
People are complex.

I wish ego never got in the way.
I wish it were that easy
to say
“I’m sorry.”
Often times there’s nothing to be sorry for.
It doesn’t mean it can’t be mended.
“I understand.
Let’s work together.”

I wish this were a possibility.
I wish for strength in numbers.
We try.
We fail.
Often times the message is lost.
It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep going.
I understand.
Don’t lose sight.

Alexandria Roswick

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